The journey of the past 15 years of grief and moving to a new city I needed to find a get-away or release.
I wouldn’t put my art into a show or sell it. It can tell a story of the stages I have been at because my art is just manifestations. Which means?
I take a large art sketch pad (it has to be big because small art sized paper is too restricting for me), then I just make a crazy line or shape and look at it and whatever strikes my mood I start adding to it and changing it. I don’t erase.
Sometimes I copy off a picture; then I go over it with paint and make something else. That’s okay!
A foot massage like no other today in the beautiful sands at Good Spirit Lake.
Walking in deep sand and wet sand in cool water is the best treatment for wounded feet. My foot has a Morton’s Neuroma and that is a pinched nerve in the ball of my foot.
Any therapist will state the fact that sand and bare feet is very healing. Mentally it relieves the feeling of structure and restrictions wearing shoes and makes you feel in control with your feet moving and digging into the sand.
Freedom it says to me. Release!
The foot has to grab with the toes and push and release with the ball and arch and heel, as it digs deep from the pressure of body weight.
Infant feet are wonderful to learn from. When you touch a baby’s feet the toes will curl and grab your finger and the response from pushing gently on their foot pads is instant and soft and flexible.
I am learning about feet with this affliction of a neuroma.
This is a lovely beach 30 minutes away from home. I took some photos below. Summer vacationers are gone so it was quiet and pretty.
This photo is taken on the road out of this lake. Saskatchewan has hay bales and pasture this time of year.
My folks turned 90 and are still doing pretty ‘dang’ good.
Missing from our family are 2 nieces and my sister-in-law.
This was a quick get together and fast food saved the day.
Houston Pizza provided the food of lasagne, ham and pineapple pizza and pepperoni pizza, ribs, ceaser salad and garlic toast (my favourite) is garlic bread.
We are a family of quick get togethers and the simpler the better. My sister and I are not fancy hosts for elaborate food. We just want every one to connect once in a while.
It is very important to keep the connection with our family.
Relationships in the immediate family and beyond can have past hurts and past tragedies; it is important for me and anyone who wishes for more family connection to make the effort to “get yourself out of the way” and step out to connect.
Family is strength, love and power. It is who we are and where we belong.
Points-of-interest photos that caught my attention this month.
I am learning how to not scare a herd of cattle. I walk by cows that are settled eating pasture grass and laying down, frequently. I could literally make them run! Now, I just stop and look at them and let them check me out and they usually stay where they are now.
I am looking forward to September and the energy of harvest is almost starting in our family. My brother-in-law is on his last year of farming and he is getting anxious to start the combines. The rains come off and on and is preventing harvest to take off. My husband is anxious to get out there and do his part on the grain cart.
September brings a season of new beginnings and start-ups!
I started blogging many years ago. I lost my first born child; Graham, (photo below). He was hearing impaired.
He wore in-the-ear hearing aids with the volume unit wrapped behind his ear and attached to the ear mold in his ear.
He was not deaf. He just couldn’t hear the low sounds. He lived in both worlds of hearing and not hearing.
I call this blog “The Flash Speaks”! That is how I heal by posting a photo that I took myself and talking about any topic that manifests itself.
It is a practice to write a post and do it well. Authenticity is the key.
I was sent an email from a problogger that I follow and he said “what is your brand”? What are readers saying about your blog? What knowledge are you sharing with the readers? You need a brand.
He is correct.
This new website is about healing.
This above photo was taken by my son’s Resource Room Teacher in 1995. Graham consistently attended a resource room all through his school years. It was mandatory.
So, here is what it must of been like. He heard things, words, teachers’ voices, schoolmates talking.
He attended the resource room at the school and finds out maybe he didn’t understand or hear it all so he needed more teaching. So it is confusing to configure out from what he heard on his own vs visiting another room to have it exemplified or corrected from yet another teacher.
As a parent we were either over amplifying or clarifying words and teaching sounds. Or even just assuming he understood and heard everything; being busy or distracted we were not always on our game.
Of course, more time listening and more time asking questions is what I would change if I could turn back the times AND…..
the big one….waiting patiently for him to figure out a reply.
As a parent, I know I am not alone with some regrets raising children. I have processed this through the years of grief.
I am feeling the need to write now about our life as parents with hearing impaired children. We had two boys with this hearing loss.
This is really about why I was inspired to blog. I am not a writer. I am a blog poster. My brand is this healing website. I just share my life.
This is a trust post. Nature can be trusted. I know that.
It rejuvenates the soul.
It rejuvenates the spirit.
It is wild and unpredictable
It is calm
It has these colours to express it’s mood: green and blue and gold and yellow and brown and black and grey and white and orange and …and
It can call you to hug a tree? why not? feel the trunk’s vibe and strength. What is it telling you?
Water is a moving force even if it is calm. the underneath of water is the big story and the picture I see when the water is still is it is okay right now and it keeps being okay. The undercurrent is strong and it changes and …hey! A person’s spirit is the same. We have undercurrents that we do not show. We appear calm when we have things under control but the body is the telling story of how you have managed the undercurrents in life. Did you ignore?
Did you guffaw some subtle messages?
You and I are human.
I trust nature to help me listen and watch and learn and repeat. Who and what else can you and I trust to keep life making sense!
Oh no..don’t get me started on rocks. That could be another post!
A nice looking cow and the cow is looking at me. It appears to be a short-horn roan coloured cow.
I have never been comfortable around cattle. They stare at me and then run. I now have learned to stop and look at them slowly and not to move fast.
Cows are meant to be here to feed us. God gave us animals and plants for our survival. I have no “beef” about eating beef or being vegan. I need protein and cows eat grass from the natural pastures that grow with prairie grass so they can eat. It is such a revolving wheel, this food cycle.
I always pass cows on my way into town and I live across the highway from a community pasture where cows are brought to this pasture and then leave in the fall.
When I first moved here with my partner I was on my own for a few weeks and I was out on the acreage and these cows that were pasturing close by kept me company. The mooing was reassuring and then they would huddle in one corner to keep those nasty flies under control and swish their tails. I appreciated the large herd and seeing them out my living room window. I didn’t feel so alone.
This cow story came up driving home today and seeing them lying in the grass.
I think I might talk about that at my 5 minute StorySlam night.
I just returned from 5 days of travel from a visit with family and driving to the lakes, (love it) and attending the Canada Summer Games in Saskatchewan.
I realized I was still not present this morning. I had boiled a pot dry because I turned on the stove and was going to put water and eggs in the pot. But I walked away and sat on the deck to load my new photos from my trip instead.
My husband came home from town and turned off the burner and used some comet to clean the pot. Oops!
I went for a 20 minute walk outside to ground myself and breaths to empty my brain of stuff from my trip.
Let’s get back to what my focus was at these last few days.
Watching the athletes play their games and their focus is the key! I get distracted too and have to concentrate on what the key players are doing to achieve a goal. It is a great way to practice being in the present moment.
We have a very small family. I always find these holiday weekends to be a long stretch with quiet times. We did go kill time in a lovely way this long weekend by hitting the lake close by. We sat in our lawn chairs and read and then I swam in the lake.
I took some photos of our perennials this weekend that are just finally really showing off.
massage my feet every night and do yoga for foot health daily
dance to my music not just listen
calm breath (blowing out candles); then big sigh exhale like going down a slide; this gets rid of the noise in my brain/intellect/ego, whatever you want to call it.
I expect good things everyday
I am available to accept the good things and acknowledge them at the end of the day
I don’t always know what I want, so SURPRISE ME. I love this free spirit intention. Instead of always planning just expect a good surprise. (this is a different way of saying “be comfortable being uncomfortable”)
I wonder what tommorrow has in store. I am going swimming in the morning and I always do the breaststroke for most of my laps. I am going to do the backstroke for most of my laps. That’s a change for me.
We are at the Assinboia Downs in Winnipeg watching the horse races on a Saturday night. We are here because of my spouse’s search for an Off The Track Thoroughbred (OTTB). He connected with the owner of the thoroughbred named Roman Humor. This connection was made from the Final Furlong group. The Final Furlong is a facebook page community that shares the horses that are off the track and ready for new outside the track life. The end result was he wrote the cheque and we are now this thoroughbred’s new owners. My husband renamed this 7 year old OTTB ‘Norman’.
This is where we got into the inside track of thoroughbreds and the owners who want to find a good home for their thoroughbred’s who no longer race on the track . My husband has been searching for a well rode horse who is past the colt stage and has some maturity and of course, smart and athletic!
He found one here at the Assinboia Downs racetrack and barns of the thoroughbreds and also the living quarters of the jockey. We stopped one of the jockeys’ walking by quickly and he gave us a minute of his time. This is what he said:
Where are you from? Barbados
Do you work here all year? no, I go back to Barbados for winter
How much do you weigh? 110 pounds
What do you actually do? I exercise and race horses
This was an exciting weekend and I, my husband and a couple of our friends, received some education and a totally different perspective of the world of the thoroughbreds; compared to the cowboys and equestrian competition riding.
This trail ride, in the below photo, was a very exciting ride through the coulees of southwest Saskatchewan. I am the second rider in the blue shirt. I was on an extremely solid trail horse at the time. Riding on the very top ridges of these hills, or coulees they are called here in Saskatchewan, was the epitome of adventure!
We opened our minds and left our comfort zone behind and I took a 5 hour trip to Winnipeg with my spouse and a couple of good friends.
As you can see from the picture below, my partner got himself a wonderful new project with this beautiful Off The Track Thoroughbred (OTTB).
More posts coming of this journey and how this came to be.
Here I am with Grace and my riding outfit this morning. I find Grace can spook a bit. As an 11 year old trained horse she needs a bit more practice at not being so untrusting of what I put on my head. She never looked twice at my shirt!
I have hat hair and my face has spf 60 sunshield lotion so it is kind of making me look pale.
Lately, my husband and I have been working on a playground for our riding horses. It’s fun and they do need to get used to different objects, sounds and anything they may come across when riding out of an arena.
Making our horses aware and less spooky is just making our rides on them more secure.
I looked in the cupboards and fridge and found lots of good food to prep for my snacks and even to put in a green salad.
Prepping food, cutting up vegetables and placing them in a quick snack freezer bag, or put the cut veggies in a nice pretty bowl with a little bit of water and place in fridge. Every time I want to grab something to chew on the food is ready.
We have all heard this before, or maybe you have not. I know this sounds easy breezy to do but somehow I buy the groceries and put everything in the fridge and cupboard and wonder what I should make for side dishes or snacks.
I love popcorn! it is a good snack for blood sugar control as it is a lite carb and fun to snack on.
Rice Cakes, especially the caramel flavoured ones are actually very good. I don’t know if they fill me up but they can if I put cream cheese on it or peanut butter.
Apples, especially MacIntosh are our favourites. The rest is yellow and red peppers, celery and carrot.
The strawberries I hope you noticed in the fridge? … well, how can I stop eating them when I can just take a big red juicy one and pop it in my mouth. Yum!
The tomatoes, well they are store bought and we are waiting for the garden to produce on that vegetable or fruit. Is the tomato a vegetable or fruit? here is your answer. Do you agree?
tomatoes are fruits that are considered vegetables by nutritionists. Botanically, a fruit is a ripened flower ovary and contains seeds.
Did you find something in the images above that does not belong as a healthy snack.
Having our son come to visit us and BBQ a smoked salmon main course meal, is the most superb reward in raising him. He can cook. He is very creative. He loves the details and spends hours prepping this meal.
Oh my! my foot has pain between my 3rd and 4th toe. I went to the Doctor. Nothing on the X-ray that was done. I am waiting for an UltraSound. My doctor thinks it is a Morton’s Neuroma. What is that you ask?
My understanding of this diagnosis, is my foot has a nerve that is inflamed and it is almost always between the 3rd and 4th toes when it happens and henceforth it is a neuroma. I don’t know where the Morton comes from. Irrelevant! No pictures are needed. If I showed you my foot where the neuroma is you would see a normal foot. Nerve pain is internal. This is how I am healing this foot:
gel toe separators to be worn as much as is comfortable
foot movement to pickup a towel or pencil for 1 minute
heel walking for 30 seconds
walking on the ball of my feet for 30 seconds
extra strength Tylenol
peppermint essential oil on the ball of my foot
If you want to see how the foot exercises are to be practiced, clic on this link below for a very quick video on how to perform these simple foot exercises.
This is a serious issue and I do not want surgery to remove whatever is in between my 3rd and 4th toes.
No more surgeries for me.
I have researched this diagnosis and the above foot therapy exercises must be done diligently and keeping toe separators in until that inflamed nerve is healed, will stop it from pain and a surgery.
That is going to be me! Here is a photo of my foot because I know you really want to see my invisible foot pain and I painted my toes to match my open toed support sandals. See you can’t tell if I have foot pain as there is no swelling or rash?
E-cards are fun! a birthday text is nice. A phone call is lovely. I need validation and the only time of year I want that is on my birthday. I love to receive a card in the mail. Come on, don’t you wish you could get birthday cards in the mail?
Mail postal service delivers parcels from on-line shopping. What has happened to the art or craft of purchasing a paper card?; handwriting a note inside it, then placing the card inside the envelope , locating the address to handprint on the outside of the envelope and then, I shan’t say it? buy a postage stamp to place on the right hand top corner of your envelope.
Mail it! and the receiver will love it. They will be so unexpectedly surprised and feel very validated.
I still get cards from our old realtor and from our financial planner. My husband even got a phone call wishing him a happy birthday from his car dealer. That was cool and very personal!
My birthday is the one day I like to think is a validation of another year of me surviving or enduring or let’s hope loving my life and knowing I am important to someone.
If it is your birthday today, you are worthwhile and
I acknowledge the good things and unexpected surprises that happen in each of my days.
For example, yesterday I got a call from the Fed Ex pick up centre that my shoes from the Netherlands arrived. The delivery date was stated for July 3rd (6 days from now) and it showed up June 28. Happy I was! I wanted to wear them for the July 1st long weekend festivities!
I came home tired and grumpy after sitting in the doctors office for an hour and a half and then buying groceries just before the long weekend started. I sat down on the deck and peeked over to my little flower bed below and my peony bush had one bud that refused to bloom the last couple of weeks. I thought it was dying. It had bloomed.
Three days ago, I shared my biography/memoir that I had written, of my son, who passed away 15 years ago. I shared it with a good friend who also lost her son several years ago. The reward and surprise that I received from her was a good thing. She read the biography and responded with such understanding I was in tears with gratitude. I was not expecting this surprise.
I have been searching for all my digital photos I have taken and stored on websites over the years. There were many on Flickr photography gallery and my other blogger.com blog. I even think Picasa has some too. I have switched laptops several times and tried to keep them all. It was too confusing with all the different places to store. iCloud is helpful at times.
I am still searching and Picasa is the next on-line search. My photos before 2016 are lost. Google photos has taken over the control on Picasa now. Taking snaps is a snap in this instantaneous world we are in. How to keep track? How many storage places? I miss the photo scrapbook when it comes to retrieving the pictures of long ago. I have a storage of many photo books in my wall unit as well.
Here is a photo I found in Picasa/Google photos. It’s me back in 2011 and here I am so wanting to publish a book that I picked up a self publishing guide. I wanted to be a writer. I still do. What a good surprise! I will publish my writings it is written in the stars now.
Finding photos is so wonderful and it can remind you of things or events you stopped doing or wanting but now you can get back to them. Life distracts! Can never have too many photos.